NIRVANA Confirms KURT COBAIN Is Still Dead, Not Living in Peru

14 September 2016

Four years ago, Peruvian talent show called Yo Soy featured Samiro Saavedra, a singer who sort of looks like Kurt Cobain with prominent cheekbones. Last night, the Daily Mail posted an article asking whether this existence of this clip meant Cobain was “actually ALIVE,” and that the Nirvana frontman had been faking it all this time.

However, we have it straight from the source: Cobain is still dead.

The official word came from the verified NIRVANA Facebook page, which confirmed the beloved singer’s mortality in a sarcastic post. “It is true, Kurt is alive,” the post said. “He needed time to learn to play the guitar with his right hand. Finding left-handed guitars is not easy. We are so happy to have him back and forgive him for all of the sadness that we have held so deeply in our hearts.”

But Cobain conspiracies are no laughing matter for NIRVANA fans. The comment section features a number of fans criticizing the page for not outright shutting down the rumor, not saying the doppelgänger outright sucks, and not bringing his ex-wife Courtney Love—the real killer in the eyes of some conspiracy theorists—to justice.

“He’s dead!” one studious commenter said. “Courtney killed him, focus your time and effort in putting her in front of a judge or in the chair.” Nirvana’s Facebook responded to the comment saying, “There you go, more conspiracies!”