You know how I know you're gay? You paid $100 to have Seth Putnam write and record a song for you.

Limited Appeal Records is currently holding a "contest" (though it's not really a contest) that goes a little something like this. You come up with an Anal Cunt-worthy song title. You submit your entry along with $100 via PayPal. AxCx frontman/stroke survivor/provocateur Seth Putnam will take your song title, write music and lyrics for it, record it, and then you get five copies of the record (four black + one colored vinyl), one of which will be signed by Seth. No joke. Except we're laughing our floppy titties off over here.

Says Limited Appeal Records:

Extra bonus: The best song title (as chosen by Seth Putnam) will receive a test pressing of the record! So–for $100, you get $80 worth of records. so the song essentially costs you $20. That is a DEAL! Not bad for getting a personalized song on a slab of vinyl you can play for your grandkids, or at least your dorky record collecting buddies. Plus shipping is free (!) if you live in the US or Canada ($25 anywhere else, that's what you get for living somewhere else). If you are at all interested in this we would suggest you act quickly, there is a limited amount of song space. Note: the song title "Paying Seth Putnam $100 to record a song is gay" is already taken. Sorry.

Hey, look, there's absolutely nothing wrong or disingenuous about this idea. If the Osbourne empire can overcharge you to get married at Ozzfest and KISS can sell you a shitty latte, Seth Putnam is more than justified in whoring his, um,В  talent. But because we know that you probably don't have $100 laying around to throw at Mr. Putnam, we invite you to share your song titles below. Free of charge. Because we're gay without pay.

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