I thought of writing an introduction about the Glorious Past, Contrast of Styles, Bravery of The Experiment and blah-blah. But we all know who are we talking about here and we also know all the cliches, so I'll save some wear and tear to my keyboard if you don't mind. "Face the thing that should not be" The musical world could keep on turning as usual even without Lulu. Metallica and Lou Reed could keep on jamming in the studio until they are blue in the face. They could couple of the songs on intimate gigs in intimate clubs. They could release a song or two for free download. Most of all they could have not released this... thing in all its 87-minute horror so they could save me the need to curse at legends. Well, they didn't. "Spermless like a girl" The album starts dynamically and gradually calm down. Also, it's ridiculously long and painfully monotonous and because of this you stop caring about the little bitch and her limp-dick boyfriend sometime during track number 3. There is an average of three riffs per song which, though sound cool in the beginning, are quickly turned into boredom from the countless repetition. At times Lou tries to produce emotions that his voice was simply not meant for and the result roams between comic and tragic. James also joins with backing vocals here and there because misery likes company. There are collaborations that are just not meant to be. "Oblivious to care" I tried to like it, I really did. I forced myself to listen with open ears and open mind, to dive into the atmosphere, to feel the emotion... I felt annoyance. And a little curiosity that is just circumstantial to the album. James Hetfield went straight edge just to get into this? The song Cheat On Me is a 11-minute chant of it's title with a lonely riff in the background. 9-minute outro with a double guitar feedback. 8 minute feedback for the background of Little Dog. And all this sober... That's pretty much all I got from this prolonged terror. Thing can be summed up by the still unwritten Ballad of Lulu by S.O.D.: YOU'RE DEAD!!!